Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
