We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
