What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
3pm strippers are depressing
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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