i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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