Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Do vagina's smell?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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