my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
