This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
