thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
