How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I cut my penus on the lid.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize