Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
