im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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