I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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