I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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