i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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