Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
