Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
