he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love you.
Bad choice
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
