talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
