Quick, to the slutcave!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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