I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
