Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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