HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
