Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
third nipple confirmed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
