And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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