whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
