using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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