girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
