Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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