soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
