Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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