This show inspires me to have sex in space
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
