Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
