i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
