Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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