Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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