We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
