My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
