awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
