Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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