We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
