New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
These tits shall not be calmed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
