I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
