I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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