What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
