I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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