my mouth tastes like poor choices
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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