omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
