I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
