Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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