and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
