he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
