She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
