Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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