y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We had sex on a dog bed..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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