did you get engaged???
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
