I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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